Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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