He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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