I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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