I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
