week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
