Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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