wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
