We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
