ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my poor anus
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
