i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
