There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
