Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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