I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
