butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
