i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
