please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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