3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
