On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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