I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
