But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
