Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We have started to decorate penises.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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