She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Your penis caused this!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
