State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
