I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
