i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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