I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
