it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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