True but thats because hes a fetus.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
