she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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