I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
