I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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