He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
