Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
