I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
