I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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