Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
