my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
