Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just high enough for therapy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
