I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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