last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
