She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
