I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
