Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
