You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
