a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
