I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
