You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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