he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
