Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
