Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize