it was like eating out sand paper
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
