Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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