its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
