K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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