I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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