I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
