I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
