Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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