Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize