Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
