I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
